Monday, February 1, 2010

I Need a Moment

I need a moment...

dear progesterone,
where the crap are you? why are you making my life so difficult? why are you out to destroy all of the things that blake and i have dreamed for? i have four names, four names picked out. are you telling me that you are only going to allow me to use maybe one of those names? two, if i'm lucky? i never did anything to you. you suck.

dear cancer,
why do you have to exist? you have invaded too many of my family and friends. you even killed my first dog. you are worthless. i would appreciate my mom, my grandmother, my friend, my co-worker, my dog even if you didn't exist. i hate you. you suck worse than progesterone.

dear stubborn demeanor,
why do you make me do things that i don't want to do? why do you hold me in chains? why can't you allow me to make amends with the people who have hurt me and my loved ones? why can't you allow me to see past the obvious? can't i be forgiving? wasn't that how i was raised? you make me feel like a bad person.

Dear progesterone, cancer, and stubborn demeanor,
I am better than this. I am better than you. I may feel like you rule my life, and that because I can't control you, you are winning. I refuse to let that happen. I'm going to beat you because I'm not going to let you define me. You are not who I am. I am more than a victim.
You have lost because I am stronger than you are. No one likes you, but plenty of people like me.
You suck at life.
Okay, I'm done.


  1. Oh wow, you are going through a lot girlie. I'm so sorry to hear all this. But yes, you are stronger and you are allowed this moment :) Let it all out. And I'd really like to thank you for your encouraging words on my blog yesterday. It means a lot :) xoxo

  2. Sometimes the world doesn't work out they way we want, and that just sucks! If only the world would ask us what we want, but it doesn't. I have been thrown many crap storms in my life. My whol family died (with the exception of my brothers and dad) within 4 years. My grandparents, my uncle, and my mother. I would constantly ask, "why me? What did i do that was so wrong to be punished like this?" Years later I have learned thatthe events thjat took plavce in those 4 years led me to where I am today. And today is beautiful. A loving husband, beautiful son, a stringer heart and thicker skin, and more compassion for others. Best of all, I learned that life is short. So I am gonna live it like no one else! I'm not going to take anything for granted and, darn it, I am gonna laugh EVERY DAY!

    Though life may be hard now, it will lead you to a place that God wants you to be.

    I will never forget something a good friend said to me when my mother dies. "When you ask why when life gets hard, just fall hard on your knees and pray. That is all you can do." I have never forgotten those words.

    Keep strong Kim cause I know good things will come your way. You deserve it!

  3. Gees Louise! I made a TON of typos.