Tuesday, March 17, 2015

How We Continue to Know

A little over a month ago I wrote a post about how we knew we were making the right decision by moving to Melbourne. If you didn't get a chance to read it you can find it here. I thought that I'd take a quick moment to mention what we have experienced here in Australia that continues to bring us confidence in our decision to be here.

Everything has not been easy. There has and will continue to be, I'm sure, more instances where Blake and I doubt what we are doing here. There are times when we lose our patience with each other, especially when we miss our stop on the tram, when the kids refuse to eat the overpriced bowl of pasta that we ordered, or when we get home after our third grocery trip only to discover we forgot something essential, like peanut butter or milk.

But, seriously, how could we have forgotten the peanut butter?
Our lives revolve around peanut butter.

During those times when we are frustrated and starting to lose our temper, that's when I really start to wish that we weren't here. I wish that we were back in our house on Purple Finch; I wish that we were ordering pizza for dinner; I wish that we were making plans to take a quick weekend trip to Oklahoma, Dallas, or Austin. 

Somewhere during that quick progression of thoughts my grandfather will pop into my head. 

I remember when Blake and I were about to get married, we were sitting in front of his chair, telling him about our plans to move to Houston. Blake had just been offered a job, and we had made our decision. He was going to take it. We had received quite a bit of backlash from my mom and dad. They did not want us to move that far away. I was desperate for support in our decision. My grandfather looked at us, and then he looked at his daughter. 

This is the best thing that could ever happen to them.
They will move away, yes. But their marriage will stronger because of this.
Isn't that what matters? 
That they learn to rely on each other?
That they learn that they need each other?
They can't run home to their mommy and daddy.
They can only run to each other. 

I think back on that a lot now. 
Blake and I aren't perfect. And maybe somewhere along the line, without realizing it, we were growing apart. We weren't relying on each other or needing each other as much as we had before we settled into the comfort of an everyday life.

It's really nice to meet up for lunch throughout the week, take family walks and have a picnic on a Sunday evening. It's really nice to make plans that involve the four of us doing something together instead of making plans to do something on my own while Blake watches the kids. Since moving here we have been together so much more than when we were in Texas. We have really relied on each other to simply move through our days, to parent and provide with comfort and encouragement. We have really strengthened our relationships... with each other and with our children. It has been such a wonderful thing. 

Like I mentioned earlier, it is not easy all the time. Sometimes, I doubt our decision so much that I can't breathe through the knot in my throat, but then... Samantha gives me an unexpected hug or Easton smiles so wide that it touches his eyes or Blake tells me what a great job I'm doing, and like that, it's all worth it.
And I continue to know. 

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