Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Bad Dreams

In the spirit of Valentine's Day I figured I would share a little something with you all that means a little something to me.

Let me get the plot set up for you...

About six or seven years ago, Blake and I had been dating for almost a year. We were in the stage of a relationship where we spent way too much time together... (I have just now gotten to the point where I'm just fine with having a little time away from that sweet boy.)

Anyway, one night I had a nightmare. Not just any nightmare, but a realistic, I-woke-up-and-wasn't-sure-if-it-was-fact-or-fiction nightmare.

I had dreamed that Blake was killed in a car accident, and I was watching Blake as he lay in a casket. I watched silently as people filed past, pausing to pay respects. I watched silently as his mother and father and sister grieved nearby.

I dreamed that I walked up to the casket and pressed my hand against his chest and felt that there wasn't any life left in him.

I woke up believing that he was really gone, and I woke up thinking my life, like Blake's had been, was over.

At that point I called Blake at around 2:00am to make sure that he was okay. He answered the phone with a groggy and sleep-filled voice, but he comforted me and reassured me that everything was fine. The next morning he drove straight to my parent's house to show me, in person, that he was just fine.

I remember being so relieved just to have him there that I started tearing up. He handed me a little note-card for me to carry around just in case I ever worried about his fate. This is what it said...

Bad Dreams

All seems dark and you are alone. 
But you pick up to hear a comforting voice on the phone.

I never want you to experience the tragedy of your dream.
So to prevent it from happening I promise a few things, which I really mean.

I promise to look when I cross the street.
And to wear socks at night to protect my feet.

I promise to look behind before I merge.
And to not give in to a drinking urge.

Eating meat that will not be so rare.
And I won't get on rusty rides at the fair. 

I will do everything I can do,
So this nightmare I will not put you through.

So try not to worry, try not to stress.
Whether you see me tomorrow, you won't have to guess.

So when you are afraid call me on the phone. 
When we die we will be old and together, not young and alone.

I have carried this card in my wallet for almost seven years now. 

I love this man. I always have, even at the very beginning. I always will, even to the very end.

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