Sunday, February 22, 2015

Dear Kim from Four Months Ago...

...I've got some advice for you.
 And even though you don't normally like taking advice, you really should listen to me.

First and foremost, it is all going to be okay.

Erica and Jonathan are perfectly capable of being pregnant with their 2nd child, and I'm certain that they are able to figure out the whole going to the hospital to have a baby again without you. The baby is not going to remember that you weren't there. Erica has her amazing family and Kelsey (also amazing) who all live within a few miles. Plus, you are going to overstay your welcome when you come back to visit.

Kelsey and Mikey can plan a wedding without you because they have Lisa and JP and there are professionals out there that take the reigns once they have been chosen and paid. Kelsey would have gotten really tired of you hovering really quickly.
Don't forget to ask Kelsey- What did Mikey say about bow ties? Are we a firm "no" still?
The house looks fine, and actually, the third couple who walks through it on the third day it is on the market is going to buy it.
They are going to be a perfect fit for the neighborhood with her adorable, barely-showing pregnancy and two-year-old little boy. The house will close less than a month after you have left, and you won't have to worry about taking care of it from afar.

Whiskey and the cat are in good hands. Wait, better than good. They will be taken care of better than you would take care of them if you weren't moving to the other side of the world. After what happens with Maysee, you'll see, the best decision that you can make is to let them be loved by someone other than you for the short period of time that you are over in Australia. It just wouldn't be fair to make them take that trip. You'll hear from many experienced people... It would break their spirit to be caged for that long after the lifestyle that they've grown accustomed to.

In spite of what you might think, you are not in control. You have no control over any of the things that I just mentioned.  They are obviously very important parts of our life, but you have to trust that without you, the world is not going to stop spinning.

Second, for the love of God, woman, pack your pillow in a suitcase.
How did the yoga mat make it but not your pillow?! The temporary pillows that will be provided to you are horrible. Have you ever woken up with both of your arms asleep? I know you haven't, but guess what, you will... Almost every night. Your back will hurt worse than when you were at the end of your pregnancy with the twins, but you are, of course, going to be stubborn and cheap and refuse to purchase new pillows because you know your pillow will be here at the beginning of April.
You're stupid for doing that, but, hey, what can I say? You have your reasons.

Third, don't touch anything that looks like it might be drugs.
Do you know if pot is legal or not in Australia? No? Well, me neither.
Update: Totally just Googled it. Yea. It's illegal.
Do you know what would happen if you got caught with a dime bag while you are holding a temporary visa? No. Me neither, but you'd probably get kicked out of the country if pot is illegal.
Long story, short... Don't touch that bag that looks suspiciously like a bag of pot in the train station because you aren't sure what it is and it is in the seat you want to sit in.
Come on, Kim. You aren't stupid.
You know, except when it comes to buying new pillows.

Fourth, eat a lot of Mexican food. 
You aren't thinking about it right now, but you have been spoiled. The margaritas and the food that you have been eating for the last seven years... You have been taking advantage of having that so accessible! Stop what you are doing right now, no matter what time of day or night, and go to the nearest Mexican restaurant, expensive or cheap, and order a bowl of queso and a margarita, frozen with salt. Then repeat, repeat, and repeat. 
Actually, come to think of it. Eat a lot of everything. Everything here is crazy expensive and portion controlled to the max. You are going to lose weight immediately due to this (and walking everywhere), so go nuts while you can.
And when I say "walking everywhere", I mean EVERYWHERE!
You aren't getting a car, dude, so enjoy that too.

You're worrying about the big stuff and sweating the small stuff, but looking back now, you should have just eaten a lot of queso, driven around aimlessly because you could, and stood in the middle of HEB to marvel at the massive-ness of a grocery store. 
I have a feeling that when you/I get back to the states we are immediately going to get a big car, a membership to Costco, and stock up on peanut butter and paper towels... Why? Because we can!
I would say "I can't wait!", but I can. 
We've got a few adventures between now and then.

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